| Skin Deep |
[Dec. 30th, 2005|11:35 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  enraged | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Trialed By Fire - Destroyer 666 | ] |
You don't understand,
What pleasure I get
From just a flick of the wrist,
And my needs are met.
You don't understand,
It's the only pain I control
That knife is my friend,
It's my life and my soul.
You don't understand,
My mind fills like a blood
I want you to know,
I gotta see my own blood.
You don't understand,
I love it's precious sight
It may seem wrong but it feels so right.
You don't understand,
What joy the pain brings me
I want you to know,
I just want you to see.
I love it so much,
Even more so on my hand
I still can't believe,
You just don't understand! |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 27th, 2005|08:45 pm] |
God of Bloody Death
Gothic, dark, and a bit violent.
Or, you could be a bit slutty, seductive, and dark.
You go for the more goth type look complete with reds and blacks.
You like death, it's cool to you.
You escort those who have died a brutal or bloody death to their place of...well, their place, not much rest there |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 27th, 2005|08:15 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  bored | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | The Metal Age - Hammerfall | ] |
LOVE - When your eyes meet across a crowded room.
LUST - When your tongues meet across a crowded room.
MARRIAGE - When you try to lose your spouse in a crowded room.
LOVE - When intercourse is called "making love."'
LUST - When intercourse is called "screwing."
MARRIAGE - When intercourse is a town in Pennsylvania.
LOVE - When you argue over how many children to have.
LUST - When you argue over who gets the wet spot.
MARRIAGE - When you argue over whose idea it was to have kids.
LOVE - When you share everything you own.
LUST - When you steal everything they own.
MARRIAGE - When the bank owns everything.
LOVE - When it doesn't matter if you don't climax.
LUST - When the relationship is over if you don't climax.
MARRIAGE - When ... uh ... what's a climax?
LOVE - When you phone each other just to say, "Hi."
LUST - When you phone each other to pick a hotel room.
MARRIAGE - When you phone each other to bitch about work.
LOVE - When you write poems about your partner.
LUST - When all you write is your phone number.
MARRIAGE - When all you write is checks.
LOVE - When your only concern is for your partner's feelings.
LUST -When your only concern is to find a room with mirrors all around
MARRIAGE - When you're only concern as to what's on TV.
LOVE - When you are proud to be seen in public with your partner.
LUST - When you only see each other naked.
MARRIAGE - When you never see each other awake. |
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| In Darkness Embrace |
[Dec. 10th, 2005|11:35 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | depressed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Cold Blooded - DamagePlan | ] |
With every life there is death and with every good there has to be evil around the corner ... Otherwise how would we know what to cherish and what not to ... When you think about it, next time you're in a car accident or something tragic happens to a loved one, it just makes you treasure what you still have even more, makes you enjoy that one last hug a lil bit more, makes you roll down the window and enjoy the feel of the air blowing thru your hair ... I mean how would you know when things are good if you never knew what they were like bad and even with love ... I have a feeling that's what's going on thru my love life or lack there of ... I mean I keep on going thru the roller-coaster of shitty events ... Maybe its just leading up to what's going to the best relationship and the one person who as soon as I lay my eyes on I will melt to the ground as soon as I hold them close I will never want to let go ... And every time we part for whatever length of time I will cherish the good bye ... Maybe this is my soul mate boot camp so to speak but I'm tired of the training lessons, I'm tired of being fucked over, I'm tired of crawling on my belly towards something that doesn't even seem like it's over the horizon ... At this point I feel, I've payed my dues and I just want to find that someone ... Maybe I'll never find them, maybe I'm doomed to roam this world by myself ... Who ever he is, I hope he says something to me soon becuz I'm loosing hope, hope in something that I thought would be never ending, something that I thought I could find in someone out there willing to work on it with me, something that I think has died in my generation ... Well in conclusion, I will just say this ... actually, I have no conclusion becuz I don't even know what to think at this point ... |
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| In Memory |
[Dec. 8th, 2005|07:00 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  pissed off | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | In This River - Black Label Society | ] |
Well today is the one year mark of when Dimebag Darrell was shot ... I still can't believe some fucking idiot killed him but he still lives on through his music and through all his devoted fans and friends ... I just thought that I would write a little something in my journal on the subject ... \m/ Rawk On \m/ |
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| Blood Junkie |
[Dec. 7th, 2005|03:35 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  artistic | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Red - Motograter | ] |
So on Monday I had to go to the clinic for Conjunctivitis or in other words, pink eye and I hate being anywhere near clinics or hospitals cuz of the paper work and all that other shit so yea I didn't like it very much ... I'm more of the type that if I can get over it with over the counter meds or on my own then I have no need to go to the hospital ... well anyway for the past few days I've felt like shit cuz I've been home with pink eye and I hate the fact that I have already missed 2 days of work for it and this day would be the third, hopefully I can go back to work tomorrow ... On another note this past month, I went and got spike snakebites, my left eyebrow, and my nipples done and to be honest when they did my nipples it didn't even hurt, I figured that it would've cuz I was there when they did my friend's and she was in all sorts of pain for quite a long time ... Well the next thing I'm looking to get pierced is my genital area, more on my ears, my tongue, my tongue-web, and my back ... I have yet to get more tattoos but there's quite a few that have caught my eye so yea I'm still searching ... |
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| Always Here For You |
[Nov. 17th, 2005|08:55 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  content | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | I Am No One - Deicide | ] |
This goes out to a certain someone who will always have a special part in my life no matter what ...
Who listened all those times while you were feeling low?
Who sat along side you in uneven times and helped you where to go?
Who tried to stay next to you and help you through your fears?
Did you forget that I gave you my heart?
After you left, my entire world fell apart.
Did you forget all those hours we talked?
And all those times you said you loved me,
nowadays it just makes me sad.
Did you forget when you called I was there?
I always helped, when you were in despair.
Well I remember all those times I made sure you were okay.
Cause if I get to witness you smile once, it will be a better day.
You hardly talk to me now, I use to be your world.
We don't talk as much because now it's all about work.
But you can still call, I will still be there for you.
It will still be like before, I will always care.
And remember this because I'll always be there for you, or did you forget? |
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| A Cruel World |
[Nov. 2nd, 2005|09:55 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  bitchy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Souls to Deny - Suffocation | ] |
You are an object, an object for my pleasure ...
I can fuck you, I can beat you, I can do as I please ...
Because you are less than human ...
You are a thing! A thing with a cock, a thing with half a heart,
a thing with a mouth full of lies, a thing I can deny ...
I will use you, I will use you and throw you away!! ...
Object! You exist only for my use, and then you cease to be useful ...
You are disposable, just like the rest of your gender ...
You are a fucking object!! ... |
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| In Reality I Suffer |
[Nov. 1st, 2005|07:40 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  curious | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Spheres of Madness - Decapitated | ] |
As far as I can remember here's what I've always wondered ... Is it wrong of me to be ashamed of my life because it's empty? ... Am I dumb for making myself the way that I am in fear of showing weakness? ... Everyday I'm surrounded by so many people, so why is it I seem to feel so alone? ... When I look at myself, what do I honestly see: a failure?, a bad person?, a fuck up?, a disgrace?, trash? ... Has there ever been a time when I was wanted or needed? ... I wish I could say that I knew the answers to these questions but they seem to be unanswered at the moment and it seems that as the days pass I find myself asking myself "Who Am I?" and like all the other questions this one has yet to be answered ... and to be honest, I don't really know if I'll ever find any of the answers ... I mean you'd think that I should be able to know some if not all of them by now, but from my point of view I see it as; if I don't know them by now, when will I ever find the answers to these questions of mine? ... |
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| Pity Love?? |
[Oct. 17th, 2005|06:45 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | numb | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Into the Forgotten - Sinister | ] |
It is said that in order to achieve happiness in life, one must find out what they truly are ... I know this to be false, I have found out what I am and I am worse off because of it ... I know that I am a scavenger, one who must survive off what others leave behind ... I get what other people have no use for, only what they will spare for me; the only love I get is what others will spare, although often it is taken ...
I have also discovered what I will not be ... I will never be the one that someone comes home to, never the one who will awaken next to her love. I will never be the one in someones life, the one he "couldn't live without" and never the one simply to be told, I love you ... There is no love for me |
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| A State of Mind |
[Oct. 13th, 2005|08:45 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  thoughtful | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | The Blessed Dead - Nile | ] |
Think about this ... You may not realize it, but it's 100% true.
1. At least 2 people in this world LOVE you so much they would DIE for you.
2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
3. The only reason anyone would ever HATE you is because they want to be just like you.
4. A SMILE from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
6. You mean the world to someone.
7. If not for you, someone may not be living.
8. You are special & unique.
9. Someone that you don't even know exists, loves you.
10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
11. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world.
12. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it ... but if you BELIEVE in yourself, probably sooner or later, you will get it.
13. Always remember the compliments you received, FORGET about the rude remarks.
14. Always tell someone how you feel about them, you will feel much better when they know.
15. If you have a GREAT FRIEND, take the time to let them know that they are great ... Add this as a comment to ten of your friends tonight and at midnight your true love will find you. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 13th, 2005|06:25 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  crazy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Conquer All - Behemoth | ] |
Fill out the following info ....
1. Your Name:
2. Age:
3. Fave Color:
4. Fave Movie:
5. Fave Song:
6. Fave Band:
7. Most Embarrassing Moment:
8. Are you a virgin?
Here comes the fun ....
1. Are we friends?
2. Do you have a crush/attracted to me?
3. Would you kiss me?
4. ... with tongue?
5. Would you enjoy it?
6. Would you ever ask me out or go out with me if I ask you out?
7. Would you make a move on me in a movie theater?
8. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
9. Would you take care of me when I'm sick?
10. Do you want to tell me something that you couldn't before?
11. If you heard a rumor about me, would you defend me?
12. Do you/have you talk(ed) crap about me?
13. Do you think I'm a good person?
14. Would you let me sleep with you (in the same bed)?
15. Do you think I'm Hot?
16. Would you call me just because?
17. Would you ever listen to my problems even if they don't involve you?
18. If you could change anything about me, would you?
19. Would you have sex with me?
20. Would you come over for no reason just to hang out?
21. Will you post this so I can fill it out for you? |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 8th, 2005|06:30 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | indifferent | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Painkiller - Death | ] |
You Are Death Metal!
Cold, raw, grim, frostbitten, and technical tey brutal. You think nothing of writing
a song about taking a woman's eyeball out and filling it with your own penis.
Thats some seriously fucked up shit. You should see a psychiatrist. No, really. I'm serious ....
Most people hate you for it, but still can't get enough of your music and out
of all the metal genres, you have the most hatred for the mainstream ... It's hard
to find anyone thats good at playing you, but when you do, you truly shine and
slay all other metal styles .... |
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| Dead Silence |
[Oct. 7th, 2005|04:40 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  blank | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Don't Care - Obituary | ] |
Just thought i'd randomly rant about dumb shit, so enjoy!!!
I'm stopping this slow death
I'm killing one way romance
and its words never read
I'm leaving you
I'm leaving them
and learning to be me
Heart is everything
Heart is me
Love is me
Hell is me
Loss is me
Heartless
And another and as always, enjoy!!!
I've failed myself with every fatal crush
I've failed myself with every abandoned love
I've failed myself with my new dead end dream
I've failed myself as love's greatest war that was never worth
I know I was never worth fighting for
Dying, living, dying, living, dying everyday
You think I am a poet
In your eyes you think I am a star
who lives through a fantasy of rising above
That has never sacrificed, that has never loved
This world doesn't fight me, I fight myself
Knowing I've failed myself ..... |
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| You're All Dead to Me |
[Oct. 7th, 2005|12:30 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | annoyed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | The Beauty In Suffering - Goatwhore | ] |
How is it that when you think you know a certain person, their true self makes it's way to the surface when they begin to say things to others that they can't seem to say straight to your face .... I feel as if everything that people once told me were all sweet nothings, i guess what i mean is i feel as if it was all just part of the candy coated little lies that came from within them just so that they could get what they wanted from me .... and if there's one thing i hate more then lies, it's when someone who is telling them is too much of a coward to come out and directly tell you what's up .... So in all reality do i really know or believe the things that people that i care about tell me, FUCK NO!!, as heartless as that may be it's the truth and i believe that it's because of those people that candy coated everything that i came to be this way, i mean yea sure it's nice to know that some people care well enough to tell me the truth but some just cover up the lies that they tell me to begin with and to those people i've got this to say, "FUCK YOU AND YOUR FUCKIN LIES!!!" .... if there's one thing that i've learned and come to know, it is that everyone has a living pinocchio inside them and to me, that's the confusing part .... i mean yea sure we all have that part in us but the thing is do some of us know when to use it and if so then the majority of us know not to use it when speaking to or of those who we once cared well enough to love .... and as always i don't have a clue as to if any of this makes sense to anyone other then me but yea i just thought i'd make some use of this whole journal thing so there you have it, straight from me to those of you willing to have an interest in what i have to say and write .... |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 6th, 2005|08:50 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  blah | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Heart of Ice - Dark Funeral | ] |
In your eyes, people see shards of ice
everywhere... You are cold and distant, pushing
away people that love you and truely care for
you! Although You want to be able to reach out and love
them but... You can't for some reason... You're
just too.... You :P Underneath that cold
exterior lies a warm, happy soul that wants to
let loose and have fun! Your sanctuary would
probably be anywhere up high where you can look
down on life below you, like the roof of an
apartment building... You're
also dark and mysterious and people like you for
that reason. Even if you think you're all by
yourself in the dark, someone is always there
with you. And even though you do seem rather
cold, you can be very protective over something
you truely believe in or love. Let go of that
"tough" rep and just be you! It's
impossible to live life without some fun and
love ^-^
Your Heart is Black
Your element is Darkness: Self centered, strong
willed, mischievous and mysterious. Your quite
dark and often times frightening, although you
may be good looking its just a costume hiding
the darkness of your heart. You detest everyone
including yourself, people are simply insects to be
burned under the power of your magnifying
glass. People are somewhat drawn to your
mystery but find out too little too late how
cruel you can be. You are truly unique yet fail to
see it and are quite creative be it in art, music, writing, ect..
And you have a passionate
soul, that is unless you already sold it.
Pursuing whatever you set your mind to, you
look at life with a 'Shut up and leave me
alone' attitude most often because people
generally seem to annoy you. You may be the
ruler of darkness but you can often times
become generally lonely, wishing for someone to
share in your dance of darkness so long as they
know who the master is.... |
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